Argument“My partner doesn’t understand me”, is a statement often heard these days as we see statistics rise on broken marriages, separations and divorces.

So what is it that causes this breakdown in understanding between two people who, at their wedding ceremony, vowed to love, honour and obey each other until death?

The favourite answer seems to be, “a lack of communication”. But I wonder whether the problems in marriage arise through a lack of respect for each other, rather than a lack of communication.

Some couples believe marriage is a 50/50 arrangement where everything is shared even their degree of love for one another. In theory, this sounds wonderful, but by placing a gauge on what we are prepared to give of ourselves can lead to unrealistic expectations of each other.

In loving our marriage partner, we must be prepared to give of ourselves totally to that person. By respecting each other as well, we are demonstrating our love is completely unselfish and not given in any measure so that we might receive an equal quantity in return.

I believe a daily dose of respect for our partner could go a long way to healing any communication problems we might have with one another.

Peter Mack

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